she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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