on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
