Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
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they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
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Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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