I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
