you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
