I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
