At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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