So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize