tell your sister to shave her snatch
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
