Don't you send me to vm
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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