Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
