You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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