No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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