I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
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