My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
