sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
