I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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