my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
