question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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