i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
