this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
