I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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