Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Randomize
