DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
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