im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
