Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Randomize
