Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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