i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
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