no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think my cat just said my name.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize