i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Just invented taco cereal.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.