there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in