Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?