All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
My throat feels like a candle.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
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the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
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He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs