My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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