I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
