nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
