I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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