I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
