i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
