I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
