He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
