I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
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Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
You are a genius and a whore.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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