Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Randomize
