You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
