at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
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