grandma shit on top of the toilet
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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