Can i not drive my cunt home
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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