I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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