Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize