I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize