STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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