There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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