hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
