It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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