I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
