I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
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