she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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