maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
