I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
